IN REPLY TO LILLIAN MAY'S ABSOLUTELY FANTABULOUS QUESTION...

Hello, all! (Well, in particular, hello, Lilly!)


"Theres this guy I've liked for a while now, and I can't seem to get him off my mind. I'm the jealous type, the one who get's jealous-when-he-talks-to-other-girls kind of jealous! I was riding the bus home today and I saw this girl I am friends with texting him, and I got this horrible jealous/angry feeling. I really don't want to be jealous, and I really want to get over him & not like him anymore! I would be so grateful for some advice. I want to just get over him but I don't know how! :(

So the real question is: How do you get over a guy you like but don't want to?"

Good question, Lilly. My friend actually found herself in a situation just like yours about a week ago. A guy had been leading her on like crazy, and when she kind of asked him out, he said he just wanted to be friends. This broke her heart, because she was actually under the illusion that she was IN LOVE with him.

Now, I can't be sure that you like this guy so much that you think you're in love with him, but I can tell that you must like him a lot. So how do you get over him? Well, there are a few ways.

1) Avoid him.

Don't make it uber-obvious, but ignore him. Don't go out of your way to talk to him. If he talks to you, don't get too excited. Try not to look at what he's doing so much: forget that he even exists. Spend a little more time with your friends and family, and soon enough, you won't even remember him.

2) Get a crush on another guy.

OKAY, OKAY, let me explain. I know that love isn't just something that you distribute like bread, but try to get a taste of "the other fish in the ocean." I'm sure he's not the only guy in your grade, so have fun - try to meet some other guys. Taste the whole buffet before you settle on one item. (LOL, I love these sayings :P). I bet you'll find someone that you like a whole lot more, and who likes you back.

But, then again, who says that he likes that friend of yours? The thing I've learned about guys is that they're not too clear about who they like - they can be pretty complicated. A technique that I've seen guys at my school use (and heard them talk about :/) is the "friend technique." The technique is that the guy hangs out with the girl's friends, and slowly intigrates himself into her "group." Once he's "in", he can focus on the girl herself. So this guy you like might just be using the friend technique.

So watch him (not like a stalker LOL but you know what I mean) for a few days and see how he acts around you and your friends. If you can pick up the vibe that he's using the friend technique, don't give up hope. But if you sense that he keeps on flirting with that friend, use one of the two (or both) ways above of not liking him anymore.

Good luck, and I hope this helped, Lilly! :)

**Piney**